Open Relationships
Open relationships are tricky and are as complicated as they come. So, what is an open relationship? There are many definitions and people automatically associate “open” with “we can do whatever with whomever”, and still have all the perks and benefits of a relationship with one person — your significant other.
So I proposed the question on Instagram: “What is your definition of an open relationship and how do you feel about them”
“An open relationship is openly cheating and being okay. I couldn’t do it because I’m a jealous person and I want mine and no one can have them. What’s the point of them if they are accessible to other people.”
“No such thing. Either you respect them enough to be with only them or you don’t”
“Two people in a relationship, committed to each other, but allowing each other to deal with other people physically, mentally, and emotionally”
“When two people are together and have a bond but they are comfortable with letting other people in their lives”
Jada Pinkett-Smith opened up in an interview about her “open marriage” with Will Smith. She described their relationship as very relaxed. She expressed that she told Will:
“You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay with it. At the end of the day Will is his own person. I’m here as his partner but he is his own man and he has to decide who he wants to be”
Basically, respecting that you are in a relationship but also accepting and respecting that you are an individual as well.
I agree to disagree. I believe that any healthy relationship needs boundaries. Your partner needs to know what is acceptable and what isn’t acceptable. This is not in terms of societal norms but based on your own feelings and beliefs. Before you even decide to enter the relationship a conversation between your significant other and yourself should be held.
I agree with Jada Pinkett-Smith because I feel like people forget that in a relationship you are still individuals. Some people become extremely controlling to the point where it starts to become toxic. You began to detach yourself from the people and things you once loved to do. You don’t like hanging with your friends anymore because every time you go out your significant other questions:
“ wya?”
“ who you with?”
“who all there?”
“how long you going to be out?”
“when you going home?”
This becomes extremely annoying and it gets to the point where you begin sacrificing your time and the things you enjoy doing to appease your significant other. You stop going out because you don’t want to “hear their mouth”. It almost gets to the point where you genuinely start believing that they just don’t want to see you happy or enjoying yourself.
I disagree with Jada because being that open (you can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay with it) can lead to unfavorable circumstances. I’m a strong believer of “people only will do what you allow” and with your relationship or mindset being that “open” they honestly may not know what is and isn’t off limits. Many people, especially men, can flirt, spend time, and have sex with someone else and go home like nothing happened. Once that door is opened, it can be very hard to recover from that. Jealously is real. Believe it or not, love is an emotion that develops naturally. You become extremely territorial about who and what is yours. Allowing a man to cheat or him understanding that he can do what he wants can be compared to the following analogy.:“A bank, afraid of getting robbed, just gives away money to beat the robber to the punch.” This mindset is mentally and emotionally dangerous.