The Struggle
Why do women find it so hard to let go & move on from toxic relationships?
Often times I see women stick around in toxic relationships. On the outside looking in it's clear that things aren't working and you have your friends in your ear whispering "Just move on," "Girl let that go", "Maybe you should just forget about him", "f$%k him" lol yeah im sure we've heard it all. BUT why is it so hard to actually let go? Even after everything has hit the fan? Why are you still holding on? What are you actually holding on to?
So I came to the conclusion that these are my 3 reasons why I personally believe women stick around in toxic relationships:
1. Comfort Zone: When you've been with the same person for so long, you get really comfortable around this person. This person knows you like the back of their hand, and versa. So, who really wants to take the time to get to know someone else and start all the way overrrrrrr? We fear that no one will accept or understand certain flaws that this particular person has grown to love about you. Women naturally make the assumption that we can fix things, but the reality of situation is that you cannot change someone that does not seek that change for their self. So, basically its like "giving CPR to something that's already dead" in the words of Fab. Lastly, it takes a lot of time and energy to invest in someone when it comes to starting over, so sometimes we rather be lazy and just do the minimum and "put up" with someone we are used instead of putting in work to something/someone new. Especially since there is a chance that this may or may not work out.
2. Fear of starting over: No one likes to start over, especially not when it come to relationships. Who wants to let their guard down and most importantly feel vulnerable all over again? No one wants to go through the talking or getting to know each other phase repeatedly because 9/10 it's usually a waste of time. People have so many ill intentions and this makes it hard for us to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. For women, a huge factor in not wanting to start over is contributed to sex. Women are often times judged and put down by their sex life (body count). So in return women have a tendency to stick around because 1. they enjoy sex or 2. they the fear of being judged by their sex life. Sex also brings feelings that most people, men and women, aren’t ready for. Most men are not 100% honest with their intentions and this makes it hard for women to even attempt to go through the motions. Women don't want to start over with someone, especially if it's not anything serious, causing it to seem as if they are just hoping around.
3. Fear of being alone: After being with someone for so long you get extremely attached. Women tend to be clingy both physically and emotionally. After constantly being spoiled with time, love and affection who wants to be alone? We get so caught up in giving love to someone else, that we sometimes forget to invest that same time and love into ourselves. Soooo, its safe to say a lot of women become insecure. We began seeking for validation from someone and develop a strong NEED to have the presence of someone in your life.
SO NOW WHAT?
Let me tell you. DO NOT be afraid to let go and get in your bag. Your bag = your peace. Know your worth and add as much tax as you want. In order to do so you must give yourself time. Take time to hurt, be alone and then figure out what it is that you really want. Once you give yourself time to figure out these things you will begin to understand your worth and then you must realize the wait to get what you want and deserve is truly worth it.