It's Called Self-love Babygirl
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We talk a lot about loving others and being in a relationship. It’s like we have this fairy tale picture painted from an adolescent that we are supposed to be this ideal woman, have a family and a significant other. If you don’t have those things by a certain age people starting questioning you like you’re the problem. You rarely hear people encourage and motivate you to just invest that love into you until that time comes. Why go out constantly looking and investing into things that won’t work. You take away from your value eventually because you spend more time building others up than you do yourself.
We do hear “How can you love someone else when you don’t love yourself” but we don’t really talk about what self love looks like. Does it mean standing in the mirror telling yourself that you are beautiful? Is it being confident or comfortable in your own skin? Like what is self love? It’s one thing to talk about self love but its another thing to actually implement a plan of action to work towards loving yourself. Loving yourself becomes a challenge when you have invested so much love, time and effort into someone else. We get so comfortable doing for other that we forget that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes.
I came up with 5 points to feed into my plan of action for loving myself. Your plan of action may look different than mine because we have different values, morals and perceptions. But hopefully my plan of action can inspire you to create your own or even align with your own plan.
5 minutes of worship everyday. When I think about what makes me happy the first thing that comes to mind is God and my love for him. So, I thought to myself why not start there? Whenever i’m going through something, i’m happy, etc. I can’t help but think about God and his plan. So starting my day off with God just means saying a prayer, praise and worship, or a simple conversation. I just want him to know that i’m thankful for where he has me right now. You’re praise and worship make look different than mine, you made need 10, 15, or 20 minutes. Truthfully, this can be a challenge when you’re not intimate with God. If you don’t have that rapport with God it makes it hard to be completely open, naked and raw with my emotions. That’s okay, but once you discipline yourself and be consistent, your relationship with grow and the process will only become easier.
Stay off Instagram until after 10 am daily. The first thing that I do in the morning is grab my phone. It’s almost like second nature to instantly get on Instagram. It’s not like i’m looking for anything in particular it’s just the simple pleasure of posting new posts, liking and strolling down Instagram. Instagram can become so toxic if you let it. It takes away from productivity and it although we say we don’t or shouldn’t; we end up comparing ourselves to others. When all you see are people on this app elevating, living, etc. it doesn’t necessarily create a feeling of envy or jealous but it does pose the questions “what am i doing wrong, what am I not doing” etc. Limiting your time on social media can be soooo refreshing.
Get out the house once a week. I am a huge fan of nature so for me just taking a walk, going to the park or sitting outside at a coffee shop would be extremely relaxing for me. Take a break from your phone, work, and whatever baggage/bondage you are feeling. Use this time to journal and be truly reflective or even coloring. Both are extremely therapeutic and relaxing. Use this time to free your emotions.
Reflect on 3 things daily that you are grateful for. We get so used to thinking about what we don’t have, what we want, what we need, that we forget to be grateful for what we have. So take time to think back on something that happened during the day that you are grateful for. It’s the small things that happen daily that we over look and easily take for granted. Being reflective allows us to understand how blessed we truly are.
Remind yourself that you are the BOMB. Often times we get so caught up in where we want to be, our end goals, that we forget to appreciate and acknowledge where we are. I personally feel like I don’t give myself enough credit. I forget to acknowledge how hard I’ve worked to get where I am right now. Sometimes I find myself in awe listening to people compliment me on my success because I forget to acknowledge my own success. It’s okay to take your foot off the gas and just appreciate where you are right now.
Remember self-love is a process. It takes time but know that any growth is some growth. It will take time but putting a plan of action in place with give you a sense of direction.
Thanks for reading.