Dating in this Generation
Dating in this generation can be such a drag. There are so many variables that just make attempting to talk to someone, catching feelings, or even dating, undesirable. It’s to the point where dating has a negative stigma. Who wants to date and let alone get married nowadays? It’s like everybody is looking for companionship and relations but not relationships. I believe there are 4 factors that make dating in this generation hard and they are unclear intentions, lack of communication, lack of commitment and a lack of honesty.
Unclear Intentions: It’s hard to let your guard down nowadays because you never truly know a persons intentions. Nothing is scarier than walking into something blind. It’s like everyone has a secret agenda. Everyone wants the benefits of a relationships. You never know if someone genuinely likes you or if they are trying to accomplish something off of their agenda: money, rebound, food. It can be something as small as using someone as a coping mechanism to deal with a break up (rebound). I’m just talking to you because I don’t want to be alone, i’m bored, or you’re my crutch to help me get over my ex. I don’t intend for this to be long term but you don’t know that. I like you but I don’t intend on taking this to the next level. However, you don’t know that and I’m won’t make it clear to you that those are my intentions because I don’t want to risk losing my temporary fix to this heartache or hardship i’m experiencing from a break-up or someone else. It can also be something as small as money. You have someone willing to buy you dinner, treat you to whatever you want and make sure you’re straight. But you’re intentions aren’t to love and be with that person because you are so consumed with what they can do for you. Take all of that away and then what? It can even be something as simple as sliding into someones DM because they look and you have a sexual attraction to them. You wine and dine until you get what you want and then you’re done. You’ve accomplished your goal and now this person is stuck hurt and confused because they had no idea your intentions were set out on sex, a rebound or money. The best thing to do is be honest upfront about your intentions and then LET THE PERSON DECIDE IF THAT’S SOMETHING THEY’RE WILLING TO DEAL WITH. Don’t just lead them on and then eventually hang them out to dry.
Lack of Communication: I honestly feel like there is a huge lack of communication in our generation and technology has played a big part of that. There are less face to face conversations and more texts/DM’s. People rarely pick up the phone and call each other. How can a relationship work without communication? People are beginning and ending relationships through texts, expressing their feelings, etc. which is not okay because a the tone of a text can be easily misinterpreted. Then you have social media. People don’t even turn to their significant other anymore with their problems, they rather go on a social media rant and you have to find out that they’re mad, sad, happy, or whatever they’re feeling via social media. This makes dating hard because people don’t know how to talk to each other anymore. People don’t know how to express themselves anymore. So, if I can’t express myself and you can’t either, we can’t communicate with one another, that makes dating hard because i need to be able to be open, honest and true with you and the only way that will happen is through communication. Communication builds unbreakable bonds, allows for quality time and healthier relationships.
Commitment: People in this generation rarely commit to ANYTHING, let alone a relationship. I just feel like nowadays it’s so easy to stray away from your relationship. You have unlimited access to other people right at your finger tips. You can easily see something you like or someone can catch your eye while i’m sitting next to you thanks to social media. My grandparents and parents had to actually go out to meet and mingle with other people. That’s how they met. Now hear me out. Each relationship is different and cheating looks different for each one. But you BOTH have to set the boundaries. What do you all define as cheating? If I flirt with someone, DM someone, go out and have dinner with someone, am I cheating? It all just depends on you and your significant other. People rarely commit to anything nowadays because it’s so easy to drop something and move to the next. You have multiple options. I can easily stroll down my TL or explore page and see something else I like and begin a new pursuit. It may be an illusion or a facade but all I have to do is click a button and it opens the door to something and someone else.
Honesty: People are so afraid of telling the TRUTH. Not only about their actions but also themselves. Dating is so hard because people are so easily manipulated by illusions created on social media. That’s what I mean when I say people not being honest with themselves. People build these guards that are meant to protect themselves because they’re too afraid and feel like they’re incapable of being loved for who they truly are. So, you end up falling in love with an illusion that was only created to pull you in and then you on the other hand are left trying to keep up with this lie, this facade that you have created. Then you have the people that “lie because they love you”. No, the naked truth is always better than a dressed lie. You will PROBABLY always have room for a comeback, especially if the person really loves and cares for you, if you are honest. But for most people in our generation lying to the person you love is easier. But you only end up hurting them and yourself more.
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