Beyond the Surface

Post co-written with Camille, IG (_beautyslave). ✨.

There’s always more to everyone than meets the eyes. We see one thing and everyone is allowed to interpret what they see however they choose. But, there is always more to know than what we see on the surface.

Unpopular opinion: Relationships in this generation are struggling because we’ve let certain things like social media, status, music, pictures and ultimately FALSE REALITIES define the guidlines of a “happy” relationship.

Social media has become the major validation point of relationships. You post too much and people assume you’re trying to prove a point, you’re faking your happiness, etc. You don’t post at all or enough and people assume you’re not together, you’re hiding them, you’re unfaithful or you’re not happy. Social media can easily paint a false reality of what’s going on, good or bad, and we let it by becoming overly consumed in everyone else’s perception of us. People are too concerned with what others THINK about them. Then you have people that begin making comparisons because of a social media perception YOU’VE created for people you follow or come across on social media. People will see someone else on social media same age as them, owns a home, recently engaged, expecting a baby or whatever the case may be and begin questioning their own success or happiness without even knowing or understanding their backstory and how they got to that point. You lead yourself to believe you or your significant other is not doing enough because you’re not where that person is in life. 

Then there is status. You have some people saying make sure you get get someone with money or a stable career, a car and their own house/apartment, etc. While you on the other hand meets none of those same expectations. The goal should be to find someone that complements you and your lifestyle. They may not be where they want to be in life and neither are you but you both have potential, ambition and want to achieve your goals. But you also don’t want to be one of those people that get lost in someone’s potential. Just because you see what someone is capable of, does not mean you can force them to reach their potential.  They have to want it for themselves. But nevertheless understand it’s okay to stay down until the come up with someone.

Friendship is another relationship that’s struggling nowadays. People are seeking the company and friendship of others solely based off perceptions, status and how beneficial they can be to them. Friendships aren’t even genunine anymore.  People become sisters/friends/best friends over night but only because someone has a 100k followers, a car, their own place, vendors, or whatever “image” draws you to them and you think it’s beneficial to be their friend when in reality that’s not always the case. Some of those people are toxic, they bring you nothing but drama and actually don’t benefit you in the way that you thought they would. And honestly it can go both ways, because you may be bad for them or y’all may be bad for each other.  They misguide you, misunderstand you, and often times mislead you and honestly it’s because the connection isn’t genuine.

 Those who live in these false realities find themselves doing all of these things to tarnish their integrity just to keep up with the “hype”. In fact it’s okay to get out here, get a job or a legit hustle and figure this thing called life out with each other. You don’t just wake up to this picture perfect lifestyle. It’s beauty in the grind behind it .