Flag on the Play: Red Flags

Thank you @Janaecheyenne for this amazing post. This is my bestfriend and this an awesome read ✨.

It’s rare that people can say when a relationship ended they never saw it coming. As much as you may want hide from and ignore reality, you knew that at some point things weren’t going to last. You saw the red flags & either ignored them, felt maybe it’s not that serious or things might get better. But honestly, if we paid attention to those red flags, we would save ourselves a ton of heartache!

Red flags are simply things that can be either deal breakers or just something that needs to be addressed ASAP! So often in relationships we just want things to be happy go lucky and we try to give our significant others the benefit of the doubt. So by doing this we choose to not worry about the small yet significant things we notice. But truth be told, if it bothers you during the first month, what makes you think things will change after the first year?  Yes, during the puppy love/honeymoon phase you’re just so in love and there is nothing you would want to do to ruin that bliss! However, once that phase is over, you’re no longer blinded by love. You open your eyes to a lot of things that were always there, and then arguments occur. Your partner is wondering, well “He/She never had an issue about this before” when all along you have but you just were caught up in the love spell!

Here are a few red flags to definitely look out for in a relationship! If you notice any of these, address it right or away or at least take note of it!

Rushing into the Relationship:

While you may be flattered that someone wants to be with you and that they are quick with their decisions. There could be ulterior motives behind that. It could be to lock you down before you notice their flaws. Just make sure if there is a rush, it is mutual. 

Their Relationship with their Family:

Pay close attention to how someone treats their family & the interactions they have with each other. There is so much you can learn about someone by knowing their family & the way they were raised.

Defensive instead of a Listening:

When having a discussion & sharing your thoughts, does your significant other get defensive or are they an active listener? You don’t always have to agree on things but there should at least be a mutual respect where you can listen to a person’s opinion, share yours and move on as two grown individuals. When someone gets defensive, they aren’t even receptive to the things at hand!

Mood Swings & Attitudes:

Do you notice this person can change their mood at the drop of a dime? Maybe they seem like they are always upset with you or the tiniest thing can turn the whole day upside down. It’s usually a cycle that will keep going on!

No Interest in Your Interests:

Not all the time will you & your significant other fall in love with the same things. Yes, you should be compatible enough to even be in a relationship but for those things that aren’t shared, there should at least be support. You want your partner to have interest in the things you are interested in, simply because of you!

Communication:

The biggest part of a relationship, hands down. If you guys can’t communicate on the same level, that is a huge red flag. If the communication was once amazing & things fade, take note of that. If you were once able to talk freely & all the time, then things change, most likely there is an issue.

There are so many other things you may have as personal red flags, such as a hate for animals, where the person lives, etc. Those are the things that personally you would not want to deal with because of who you are. You must be in tune with yourself & real about your wants when going into a relationship. Granted, things & people can change overtime and for the right person, but if there are things you ultimately can’t stand, address those things! You could save so much time by just being upfront with your partner & most importantly, yourself. Just remember, no one is perfect, even you so evaluate yourself as well. If your partner puts effort to make changes & compromise with you, then things may last. But if they don’t even listen or hear you out, or worst of all get defensive, start drafting your exit strategy!