You Expected Me to Stay
When you love and care about people you give 101 chances to hurt you and another 101 chances to make it right. Let’s be honest. For most of us, especially those of us that have a big heart, we know people don’t deserve our love and yet we give it anyways.
Cross me once…. I forgive you
Disrespect me twice … I forgive you
Hurt me three times… I forgive you
Now they’ve developed a habit. WE subsequently have an undesirable routine. They know exactly what to do or say to reel you back in when they’ve done something to you. However, you don’t realize the damage these repeated actions are actually causing. You honestly don’t realize the damage until:
it becomes too toxic or something drastic happens
you start experiencing or get exposed to something or someone better
you finally decided to leave
Want to hear a joke? When you leave THEY always claim to be hurt. Want to know the reason? It’s simply because “they expected you to stay”. They didn’t expect you to get tired. They expected you stick around until they figured it out, found themselves or finally made the choice to treat you right.
When leaving someone you love, you go through every emotion in the book. You find yourself stuck, or caught between love and hate. Anger and pain. Hurt and confusion. You’re not understanding how or why this person didn’t care enough to do right by you when they actually had you. We begin to question several things: “Why they didn’t realize my worth?” “Was it me?” “Was it something I did or said?” “Could I have done something differently?” “Where did things actually go wrong?” People are manipulative; when they know you are a lover and truly care about them, they continuously take. Furthermore, they will make you feel guilty for living in your worth and no longer tolerate the BS they were giving you.
“Played the fool until I couldn’t be fooled anymore.”
You may be just going through the motions. You may even have the ultimate desire of making things work. However, you must realize when it’s time to let go. There is no bandage that can ever heal a permanent scar. Every scar, whether physical or emotional, has allowed us to gain experiences that last a life time. Some things, people, situations are unsafe and are wounds that should not be opened.
I saw a quote and it made me smile:
“There is a rare breed of people that go all in. They keep their word, they give it their all, and they go the extra mile for people they care about.These people hardly ever receive the same passion and effort in return, yet continue to give freely.
To the givers, forgivers, and selfless lovers out there. Keep going! Keep being beautiful, and don’t let this cold world change you.”
Even when it gets harder to be optimistic and even harder to give and receive love, keep going, stay focused and trust the process.
“Live your life and grow” — Nipsey Hussle