We all have Skeletons

We all have a past, a past that comes with baggage, skeletons, and sometimes pain. We try our best to forget and cover up what we have done or what has been done to us without forgiving, understanding and accepting.

It's a lot easier to cover up our problems versus facing them head on. We do this unconsciously without even realizing how damaging this is to us and the people that love us or at least try to love us. That hurt and pain begins showing in various forms and we don't even realize where that pain, feelings or the choices we make are stemming from.

You cannot fix a wound by simply covering it up. You have to constantly nurse and attend to that wound, eventually allowing it to heal. It will leave a scar but the damage will be done.  If you chose to cover it up without treating that wound it will become a scalp that still bleeds and may even hurt from time to time. The point is no matter how hard you try to continue aiding it, every time it reopens you will not be able to fully heal if it is not treated correctly. 

The pain begins eating away at you from the inside out. You internalize the problem but that shield only works for so long.  You build walls to keep people out and your pain in. This keeps people from getting too close, you lose empathy and you end up forgetting how to not only give but receive love. I know we are thinking how? What does that mean? What does that actually look like?

Imagine a person being molested and they never tell anyone or face that trauma. They smile on the outside but in the inside they are crying out for help. Years later after this traumatic event you are in a relationship with someone trying to love you but you won't allow them. Your insecurities begin to show, insecurities stemming from the pain you've tried to cover up for so long. You begin wondering if someone you are instilling trust in, who is actually the person that's actually just trying to love you, will just hurt and take advantage of you.

Or growing up your parents emotionally abused you by speaking negatively about you and neglecting your emotional wants/needs. So you hide that pain. But the people you come into contact with label you as negative, pessimistic and hard to work with/love or be around. You go through life never realizing where this negativity is stemming from because you never addressed or even acknowledged that, that was a problem. Never acknowledging that there is a traumatic event that you never dealt with.   

“Healing starts the moment you accept the truth about what has happened. But healing doesn’t come quickly." You have a choice to either be empowered by your pain or defeated. Skeletons either make a better future or it begins a cycle but it all depends on how deep your closet goes. But your skeletons are who you are. Each bone added to your skeleton molds you into the person you are. You have to learn to effectively communicate with the people around you. It’s okay to be vulnerable and let your guard down if it means letting go of the baggage that’s holding you down. 

Here are some ways to deal with traumatic events or anything that has changed your life in any way:

1. Give yourself time. Take time to actually understand what has happened in order to accept. Face what happened with your head held high and use your loved ones as your strength.

2. Ask for support. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reaching out for help. Utilize your family, friends, etc. or get counseling. 

3. Develop a routine. Bit by bit, let yourself think about the trauma and talk about it with others. Don't worry if you cry when you talk, it's natural and usually helpful. Take things at a pace that you feel comfortable with.

Thanks for reading ❤️.