Picking Up the Pieces

Many people have this thing where they say don't look back, don't try to fix what's broken, and some people just are incapable of being loved. Well is that always the case? In my opinion, nahhhhhhh. Remember different strokes for different boats. What works for you may not work for someone else. What you choose to settle for, fight for, or agree/disagree with may be different from the next person. And honestly you have to understand that is perfectly okay.

But you should never feel bad for picking up the pieces regardless if it's an old job, rekindling old flames, or making your attempt to fix what's considered "broken".

Now people have a funny way of trying to tell you what they THINK is best for you. Although they may have your best interest in heart, YOU have to make the final decisions and determine what’s best for YOU! Don't allow the opinions of others stop you from going after what you want. However, if you are one of those people who choose to go against the odds by all means, GO FOR IT. Don't let anything or anyone stop you. This is your life, your journey and your choices.

In my opnion when "picking up the pieces" in regards to relationships there are some valuable things you must remember:

You have to be optimisitic.

Being optimistic helps you go into things with an open mind. You are open to the fact that this person has changed, made progress or grown. This will be a huge factor to help you let go of the past. You cannot move forward while still holding on to the burdens of the past. Its honestly never said or believed that the second or third time can really be the one. So you have to tear down those barriers and be willing to think further than what you are used to, would typically expect or have been told. 

Have an open line of communication:

We spend way too much time in battle mode. Everybody want to be heard but nobody wants to listen. Eventually we end up tuning eachother out, trying to yell or talk over eachother, and nothing gets accomplished. Communicating isn't only about talking, LISTENING is an important factor. "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; theylisten with the intent to reply.” —Stephen R. Covey.

 Friendship is a MUST.

Friendship is going to lay the foundation for trust. When you are friends it makes communicating easier. Having a frienship with your significant other makes it easy to talk to them. They can be your support system on your best days, worst days, and just be your sunshine to clear up rainy days. 

Build Trust:

If you don't trust the person you're with, then you can't give them your all because you are always going to second guess their love and loyalty to you. This will probably be one of the hardest things to do when it comes to rekindling old flames. You may second guess, have insecure thoughts, etc. but you that's where being optimisitic comes into play. You have to be able to forgive unconditionally in order to trust again. BUT note trust is earned not given. 

Have empathy:

Just be understanding to the feelings, thoughts, flaws, etc. of one another. Nobody is perfect (but that's not an excuse to continue making the same mistakes).

Thanks for reading,

Sincerely Shanice, XOXOXO!!