The Other Woman
Women have this natural instinct to protect what belongs to them... right or wrong. Mothers do it all the time and so do girlfriends, wives, and even baby mamas. Whenever women feel like the people or things they love are under attack, they go into defense mode. Women will defend who and what they love at all costs.
Have you ever been cheated on? If so, that means at one point you were “the other woman” whether you were the woman he cheated on or the one he cheated with you were still the other woman to the other woman. Both is a lose/lose if you ask me. No position is better than the other but why do you go after “the other woman”?
When you are under attack you never want to believe that you are being attacked from the inside. We love to believe it’s always the outside forces coming for what’s ours. In that time of rage, anger and hurt we become blinded to the role/actions the man, YOUR man, HER man, YALL man... played in the situation.
The Woman he Cheats On:
9/10 the person that gets cheated on is the one that provides the stability in his life. This woman has seen this raw imagine blossom into this beautiful masterpiece (figuratively speaking). Y’all are an item and somehow his name is attached to you and your imagine. When people see him, they see/think of you. Usually, this is because time is invested in the relationship, lots and lots of time. It is hurtful to know that someone is being unfaithful to you, and on top of that lying about it. It makes you wonder what you’re doing wrong, why weren’t you enough, etc. It creates this feeling of self-doubt that eats away at your self-worth.
I genuinely believe that men do love the woman they are with, in this situation but don’t truly want to be with her. It becomes one of those things where men feel as if I don’t want to be with her but I don’t want her to be happy with anyone else. So he cheats and lies to you so he can have his cake and eat it too.
Understand that women’s intuition is real and every woman knowsssss her man!!! When you start having those gut feelings about your man and you begin questioning his loyalty, don’t ignore them. Most men will lie, defend and justify their unfaithfulness with everything in them. But let’s be honest, a man is only going to do what you allow. If you know what you know and feel how you feel, it’s up to HIM to correct his behavior. Don’t slack up on your demands to be treated right because he will take advantage of your ability to compromise in any way possible.
The Woman he Cheats With:
For some reason, this woman always feel as if they have the upper hand. Women in this position love to brag about their status and relations with the man. These usually are the “if only she knew” type females. It’s all fun and games though until there are feelings involved and those feelings belong to her. This female typically ends up fighting for a position that never belonged to her. The woman in this position must realize that a man will say whatever and do whatever to continue having the affair with both women. This even includes talking bad about the female he claims he’s done with/is no longer with or downplaying the relationship they have. Men will really paint their girlfriend out to be the crazy female that’s obsessed with him, obsessed with you and will act as if she just refuses to let go. The whole time you are being lied to and manipulated into not liking a woman that probably don’t even know you exist.
If this is the position that you are going to settle for the best thing for you to do is play your role. Understand that there is someone filling the number 1 spot. You also have to understand that you won’t be guaranteed all his time and energy.
I believe that the woman a man cheats with fills a void. Usually, there is some type of lack in communication between him and his significant other, signals get crossed and the fire starts to die. Sometimes us women get so caught up in our wants and needs we forget he has needs too. In long-term relationships men usually step out because the new woman makes him feel alive again. This woman sees him for who he is now, while his girlfriend is seeing him for who he was. She nags because he’s no longer the person he used to be and she has a hard time accepting the reality of the situation. The woman he cheats with sees him for him. He feels accepted and wanted. There isn’t any pressure on him to do better or be better.
Overall, neither position is a good position to be in. Nobody wants to be the “other woman”. But, if you do find yourself in this position just remember to hold your man accountable for the part he played in the situation. Now I know you do have spiteful females that purposely come for you because they can’t accept the fact that their man stepped out on them, but before you engage in interactions with the “other woman” just remember you deserve better. A man that really loves you and cares about your feelings would never put you in that position. I know men and relationships can damage your self-worth tremendously but stay true to you. Write down 1-3 things a day that you love about yourself. Take time to rebuild your self-worth and find happiness in you. DON’T EVER LET A MAN TAKE AWAY YOUR HAPPINESS OR SELF-WORTH.